Lent: Pardon Our Dust Distraction Is Messy

The smudges on my forehead have been washed away, yet they are still present. I sit with my morning coffee curious about the lingering senses of grief and grace. I do not want to fall into the temptation, the old habit of seeking a reason outside of myself. I want to live in the truth and light. I want to embrace messy and really be okay with it. I want to trust God in new ways. This is my deep desire.

Pardon Our Dust

Lent, February 23, 2023

I am very aware of my white privilege today. It is a large part of my dust these days. For much of my life, I let the dust build up. Once I start dusting, it becomes quickly obvious the dusted areas and non-dusted areas. Once I start, I have to finish. If I don't, it keeps staring me in the face, the half-dusted table, beckoning me to finish the work I began.

Before I was really aware of the ease in which I journey in the world, I had someone dust for me. Until I realized that dusting was my work to do.

When we all fall short, and we will, and we discover we cannot be perfect exemplars of anything that is supposed to make us worthy,
then we either seek pardon,
or
we find ways to distract people from our dusty humanity. So much of our arrogance, pride, machismo, and discomfort with those unlike us is just distraction - a way to keep others from seeing our dust. We soothe our insecurities by making others feel insecure, we push others to the bottom, so we can feel for a life while that we are on top.

Otis Mills, III, Dancing in the Dark, p. 85

Seek Pardon

Pardon me. Excuse me. Forgive me.

Pardon me from my ignorance. But when I am awakened to the truth, do not excuse me from my distractions and projections. Be gentle and patient with me while I do my work. I want to keep going. Forgive me when I make mistakes, and show me the error of my ways. Pardon my white blindness, but do not excuse me from doing better, choosing different language, embracing the truth of another. Forgive me for going along with the crowd. I cannot unsee what I have seen. I cannot unheard what I have heard. I am changed, and I want to an instrument of peace.

Spiritual Practice Part One:

Set the Space:

As you enter into this prayer space, adopt a loving, caring, and compassionate stance.  If the end of your prayer and meditation time is not pointing to love and hope, there is more work to do.  Keep wrestling.  God is faithful to your journey.  Love and hope will emerge.  Be gentle with yourself and befriend any judgment that arises in you.

• Find a place in your home or in nature where you are free from distraction.
• Let your breath be connected with the Breath of God.
• Find a table in your home that needs dusting or imaging there is a table covered in dust.
• Welcome the dust. It has something to teach you.
• What is the name of the dust today?
• Run your finger through the dust.
• How does the dust need your attention?
• Listen to the dust and invite the dust to speak to you.
• Notice God is listening with you and gazing upon you and the dust with loving kindness.
• Ask God to reveal grace in the dust.
• What new thing is God inviting you to see today?
• What is your work to do, if any?
• Embrace the discovery.
• Give thanks to God noticing any freedom that comes with the discovery.
• Pause to linger with grace and freedom.
• Welcome amazing grace.

Spiritual Practice Part Two

• Invite into your awareness to an area of dust in the life/lives of your Black brothers and sisters. If there is more than one, sit with them until one emerges as the dust you will sit with today. If you wish you can come back to the practice with others.
• What is the name of the dust today?
• Run your finger through the dust again.
• How does the dust need your attention?
• Listen to the dust and invite the dust to speak to you.
• Notice God is listening with you and gazing upon you and the dust with loving kindness.
• Ask God to reveal grace in the dust.
• What new thing is God inviting you to see today?
• What is your work to do, if any?
• Embrace the discovery.
• Give thanks to God noticing any freedom that comes with the discovery.
• Pause to linger with grace and freedom.
• Welcome amazing grace.

If you with to share your experience, reply below:

I pray these practices will be a gift and blessing to you. I have much to learn from my Black brothers and sisters. This study is helping me see the gift of spiritual practices born in desolation. They are my midwives as I labor with these spiritual practices. I have deep respect for the pain they have endured and the call to non-violence that clothes them with Christ.

I can imaging a world filled with Peace. Let it begin with me.

With a grateful heart,

Lil